Negotiate from Both Sides of the Table 

A U.S. arms control negotiator was once asked if he could craft a proposal taking into consideration the interests of both the Soviet Union and the United States. He was dumfounded. Why in the world would the United States care about the Soviet Union’s interests? Their interest is their problem! In a similar vein, a congressman from South Carolina once said that the Soviet Union will not accept a SALT treaty that is not in their best interest, and if it is in their best interest, it cannot be in our best interest.   

That kind of a mindset, known as the “incompatibility bias,” drives negotiators to behave competitively and adopt a win-lose style. This was the case, unfortunately, in the Vietnam War. In the documentary, The Fog of War, former Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara admits that the United States never understood the Vietnamese well enough to comprehend their interests and motivation. Former Secretary of State Jim Baker stated, “Many negotiators are self-centered. They are so preoccupied with what they need and want, they pay much less attention to what the other side needs and wants.”  

In contrast, Master Negotiators don’t let the incompatibly shape their mindset. They focus on similarity and compatibility. For example, former State Department Deputy Legal Advisor Michael J. Matheson who has negotiated many arms control deals says, negotiators have to figure out some way to structure the proposals so that they accommodate the other side’s needs and bridge the substantive differences. This is possible when negotiators take the time to find out the interests of the other side. Robert Johnson, the founder of Black Entertainment Television (BET), did this before he negotiated with John Malone, the “King of Cable.” He studied the man and his business values. During the meetings with Malone “everything that I talked about,” says Johnson, “was designed to convince him that I share his value system.”  

Master Negotiators formulate creative trade-offs that have real benefits to both sides in order to harmonize all the parties’ interests. They know, as sports super agent Leigh Steinberg says,  “people are not going to do something against their interests.” To figure out their interests, he adds, he puts himself into their heart and mind, attempting to see their world as they see it. Sadly, it took Robert McNamara more than 30 years to come to this realization. You have to put yourself in the “shoes,” or as McNamara says, in the “skin of your enemy.” The ability to empathize with the negotiators on the other side is perhaps one of the most challenging abilities negotiators must have, especially in protracted conflicts.    

Dr. Michael Benoliel is the author of Done Deal: Insights from Interviews with the World’s Best Negotiators  (Platinum Press, 2005). It is based on his personal interviews with some of the world’s best negotiators in diplomacy, business, politics, law, labor, and sports. Some of his media appearances include: Bloomberg Television; BusinessWeek; The Deal; The Wall Street Journal Radio Network; National Public Radio (NPR); The Washington Diplomat; The Cincinnati Enquirer; and The Monitor. Dr. Benoliel is the Director of Center for Negotiation (www.centerfornegotiation.com) that provides training and consulting services in conflict management and negotiation. In the past 20 years, he has trained and consulted in the U.S., East Africa, and the Middle East. He can be reached at: Mbenoliel@centerfornegotiation.com  Professor Benoliel teaches Strategic Management and Organizational Behavior at National-Louis University’s Northern Virginia Washington, DC Campus.